Hey friends,
Thanks so much for stopping by. I really appreciate anyone who cares to read my posts and love reading your comments. This is Part 3 of a three-part series as I try to explain how or why I left a career in teaching and changed the direction of my life. If you haven’t read parts 1 and 2, you may want to start there.
Stepping out into the unknown. I had obstacles in front of me from the start.
- Self-doubt.I thought, “Why me? How can I possibly do this?” With time I realized God uses people every day, so I changed my question to, “Why not me? With Him, we can do something for children.”
- Doubt from others. I had family members and friends wonder if I had gone crazy (many still wonder, ha ha). They fully expected me to stay on the path of teaching school and eventually become a school administrator. That was the plan. Those were my plans and they made sense, but they weren’t His plans. This sudden change in direction, with no financial assurance, made no sense. It seemed a little like . . . well, maybe I had “too much religion” or something.
On the other hand, there were many friends praying with me about this feeling of call, and some of them felt the same strong calling to do more than a short-term mission trip. These people of faith, men and women, gave me much courage during that time.
I knew in my heart that nothing would make sense if I didn’t follow God. I decided to stop doubting and worrying about what other people thought. I had to go forward, and as Joyce Meyer says, Do it afraid. I knew this calling and purpose was clear and even specific, but how? How was I to make it happen? That was a big question and required much faith. Quickly I would learn that I, Deborah Brown, was not going to make anything happen. Only with God could this impossible thing become possible.
Praying Together for Orphans. I began praying each week with some amazing women meeting at my kitchen table, women who also felt that we should do more for orphans than a 10 day mission trip and women who recognized the call of God on my life. These women began to feel God speaking into their own hearts and they were dedicated to following His call, too. After several months of praying, we asked our church if they could help us start a ministry for orphans in Tanzania and Kenya, specifically to build homes and schools. The church mission team took our request seriously and prayed for some time. They finally replied, “We believe the calling to be genuine, of God, but the size of this vision is bigger than any one church. We think you should start a non-profit organization and we will be your first supporting church.”
What?? Hey! This was not what I said yes to. (That’s exactly what I said to God). I thought it would be easier than this! Who was I to start a non-profit organization? Who were we? (Remember the ladies at my kitchen table?)
As I began to read everything I could about non-profits and to look online for other people working with orphans in Africa, I couldn’t get enough. I wanted to read everything — every book, blog or website. I came across a book by Janine Maxwell, called It’s Not Okay with Me. I read it in 2 days and then called her. Just picked up the phone, and called her….and, she answered! She was driving carpool and I was, too. After speaking with Janine, I decided to go on her next Heart for Africa trip, with my daring new friend, Kelly Lacourse. We both felt it was a good idea and we knew what God was asking of us regarding orphans. So we extended our trip and traveled to Chalinze, Tanzania and also to Mombasa, Kenya, after the Heart for Africa trip, to meet with the pastors that God was telling me to work with. I asked God, “Couldn’t I just help Janine? I’m sure she needs help.” Running. I was still running from a specific job He had for me, and I knew it. It seemed to me that God was very quiet. I was still a little stubborn.
Not too long after that trip, I learned Janine needed someone to edit Heart for Africa’s land-use plan for grammar and usage, and also someone to edit her second book, Is It Okay With You? before it went to the publisher. I was happy to volunteer and tried to tell God how great this work was; tried to rationalize that I WAS obeying Him, in a round-about way, by volunteering for this great non-profit. I even arranged for her to speak at my church, West Congregational Church (are you watching, God?). The ladies praying at my kitchen table began to meet again and I confessed to them that I would MUCH rather work with another group, but God was being clear. We were to obey Him and create sustainable ‘village’ communities for orphan care in Tanzania and Kenya with the pastors He had shown us. In fact, I met those pastors 12 years earlier when I lived in Tanzania with my family for 7 months. It’s so amazing how God prepares things and connects the dots.
In my former life as a teacher, and through training and experience in supervision, I had some skills in administration and management. I had no idea that these skills would be needed in a big way. Also, I’m organized, project driven and efficient, things I learned from my mother! I’ve needed all these skills plus the skills and determination in each of those women of faith, Kelly, Pam Hansen, Melissa Nickerson, Renee Villafane and so many more men and women. We built a non-profit from the ground up with no experience, just sheer determination, willingness to learn, and big dreams of changing the world for orphaned children. Did I mention it’s taken a lot of stubbornness, too?
Why would I change the total trajectory of my life? It’s simple. God clearly asked me to do something, and said He expected obedience and He would provide everything else. I just said, “Yes.” Now, I’m on a mission to give God full control of my life and follow where He leads, every day. It’s not always easy, in fact, some days and months it’s incredibly hard to keep trusting Him as I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders for our staff in East Africa, our children and our many volunteers. It’s not easy to trust your whole life into His hands, but it’s the best way to live.
This blog is for anyone looking for their purpose in life and for those trying hard to follow God’s call in their life. It’s for anyone taking steps forward in faith, without seeing the whole path. It’s for our Kulea Villages founders, friends, donors to be able to follow stories of the children (those stories begin with next blog, January 1).
Stubbornness and Faith. I’ve often wondered why God asked me to spear-head the start-up of Kulea Villages and I’m guessing it’s because of stubbornness and faith. From the time I was a child, I was really stubborn (my family agrees). As an adult, I find myself often hesitant to commit to something, but once I do, I’m all in – totally immersed. I’m too stubborn to give up when people tell me we will never grow large enough to accomplish the dreams God gave us for orphans, or that we can’t make it due to deep cultural differences that may at times negatively affect our operations. I remember the day God asked me to obey and promised that He would ‘bring it’. He promised to do this and I have total faith that He will. I will stubbornly follow Him all the way.
her faithfulness to the vision You gave her and for her commitment to the orphans of Kenya and Tanzania.
Hey Deb, I just wanted to tell you that if I haven’t said how much I appreciate you, I appreciate every single thing you do. I appreciate and love your friendship and I love you very very much with all my heart.
I lift my hands to Heaven, here my heart surrendered, I tell my soul again, You are Lord of all! And though the seas are raging, You will speak and tame them. In You I find my rest, You are in control.